note to self.

Sometimes it’s too easy to forget that you are not the only one in the world with problems. Oh logically you know that everyone has baggage. But it’s like we are walking through a brightly lit, tiled tunnel at the airport and you can barely pick out what is at the end. You can barely make out the blur of figures and signs under the fluorescent lights. There is the monotone female voice mumbling over the speakers again that a plane full of people is about to leave. And you have all your baggage with you, everything you think necessary (and even those things that are unnecessary and you have grown out of, but you just might need anyway incase) to the formation of you. The weight of it all is heavy and pulls on your muscles. They ache. And you are looking at the floor and thinking of all you have to do because it is too easy to get caught up in our world. It’s too easy to think of the weight bearing down on you as you drag your feet one step at a time. Too easy to forget that just about everyone else has their own heavy burdens to carry. The sound of your creaking knees is only loud in your own ears. And so while you know, logically, that everyone carries their own baggage, and that yours is certainly not the heaviest, it’s easy to get caught up in your own struggles. Too easy to think, “Why me?” or “Why isn’t there anyone here to help me?”

And at some point you are going to have to deal with all those bags. You can’t ignore them, because they will pile up. You can’t ignore the problems away.

Sometimes, you just have to wake up and deal.

To incorporate Mahler’s theory, it’s easy to get caught up with the idea that your world is the world. Isn’t that how we see the world as infants and children? It’s easy to say “well of course I am right. I have experiences in my life that prove my ideas.” It’s easy to think of ourselves as the exemption, as special or that the situation is different because it’s ‘me’. Because that’s just it. It’s us. To us, our problems seem bigger, magnified to a greater degree than the truth because it involves us. There is this mental fallacy that the world revolves around you. It does not. It never did. It will continue to function without you just fine.

Sometimes you need to wake up. You have issues. You will have more issues. Deal.