I am at my most poetic when I am my saddest. Everything is a metaphor because everything hurts too much to explain vividly. I start speaking in weird imagery. I start thinking in raw, formless, haikus and inversed sentences like ‘cheerfulness ran down in tears, draining out of me’.  Do you ever have those moments? Where everything comes to you, but you don’t know if you should write it down because its too saddening to read.

Because I feel like I am being dragged into the sea. I’m standing, and then I am not. I think to myself, I can take another wave, and it comes, and then another, and then I am beneath it and I don’t know if I want to get up. I’m not sure it’s worth the effort to struggle against the tide, when it’s so easy to float and let it pull me down.