On a different train of thought, I am over it. I have been for a while now. And I have to wonder at how persistent your dislike for me is. But the thing is I realized last year that people will hurt me. It’s invertible. We hurt those around us, intentionally or not. We might not seek to cause them pain, but we do. It’s the porcupine’s dilemma that those closest to it would be the one it hurts the most.  I expect those close to me to hurt me, and I know they may mean it and may not mean to as well. I have hurt others and been hurt. To some, I have been an absolute cold hearted bitch that just forgets those around her when they are of no more importance. And you may be are right and justified in believing that. But I also know that people will make judgments, assumptions and accusations without the full picture even if I did play by the rules.  Even if I did the right thing, not everyone will look at such acts in a pleasant light. Even those closest to us can make quick assumptions about our behavior and accuse us of doing wrong, of hurting others whether we did so or not. So really, why would I want to fight your judgments and public opinion when there is little I can do to control what you think? You are free to believe whatever you want to. To see me in whatever light makes it easier for you. Fit me into whichever stereotype that allows your world to function. In the meanwhile, I’ll be living my life according to the rules I believe in. I’m choosing not to withdraw from potential hurt, but to allow that they will come. You are free to believe what you want of me.  

I wonder if you realize I am over it. If you realize that in many ways, I have forgiven you for hurting me. I'll never trust you to the extent I did before, but I don't hate you. I can't hate you for being who you are and having your own motives. I may wish you would have considered things from my perspective and been a better friend, but I don't expect you to. At some point I realized that you have trouble doing that; stepping into the shoes of others and remaining there even when you feel uncomfortable. So while I wish you were more, you are who you are.